Adjusting

September 3rd marks the day I dreaded for a very long time.  TJ went off to kindergarten and all my kids were in school full day.  I burst into tears on random days throughout the summer, the night before their first day ,and when I watched my youngest get on the bus.  I was hoping that would be the last time I cried.  I put on my sunglasses and tried to put on a smile.  Joe and I met them at school so I could see them get off the bus.  I finally composed myself.  There were numerous parents almost doing cartwheels and skipping around with happiness that their kids were going back to school.  I was definitely the minority. The final bell rang and I hugged them all tightly and hung on to TJ a minute longer and I cried again.  Well, just like that they were all in school.  No more stroller walks or midday skating or trips to Van Saun.  Joe dropped me off at home and I walked into a very quiet house and I cried one last time.  I missed them.  We had such a great summer and I was a little bitter that they would now be spending their time without me.   I grabbed Hobson and went for a walk and of course thought about how much I missed them.  I also thought about how they all went off to school with confidence and smiles.  I could not have spent any more time with them while they were all home with me.  I smiled knowing that I enjoyed every second being home with them.  I held 3 of them an extra year and I was able to spend more time with them at home.  I miss them so much but realize it's the next stage and it's good for them.  I am just as busy as I ever was and they need me just as much as they have ever have.  It makes me happy to see them smile when they leave in the morning.  It warms my heart that they hug each other and take care of each other in school.  I look forward to see those smiling faces when they come home.  They are so excited to share all their stories during the day.  The adventures have not ended.  We have our days off and weekends to have new ones.  Some of our time on the weekends is now devoted to soccer and hockey games, but that is another story and a good one! Feeling happy!